Chevrolet Jokes

[E.Moore]

A computer engineer, a systems analyst, and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the brakes failed in their new Chevrolet. They hurtled down the mountain, gaining speed, and finally managed to grind to a halt, more by luck than anything else, just inches from a thousand foot drop to jagged rocks. They all got out of the car.

The computer engineer said, “I think I can fix it.”

The systems analyst said, “No, I think we should take it into town and have a specialist look at it.”

The programmer said, “OK, but first I think we should get back in and see if it does it again.”

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A new Chevrolet breaks down along the interstate one day, so the driver eases it over onto the side of the road. He jumps out of the car, opens the trunk, and pulls out two men in trench coats. The men stand behind the car, open up their coats and start exposing themselves to the oncoming traffic. This results in one of the worst pile-ups in history.
When questioned by police about why he put two perverts along the side of the road, the man replied, “I broke down and was just using my emergency flashers!”

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For those of you who have never had the pleasure of owning a Chevrolet car or truck, but want to know what it’s like: Next big rainstorm at night, roll down all the windows, leave off the lights, heater, a/c & wipers and go for a drive. Stop at every intersection and throw out a twenty dollar bill. It’s not exactly the same, but it’s real close.

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Five surgeons are taking a coffee break…
1st surgeon: “Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
2nd surgeon: “Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”
3rd surgeon: “Try electricians! Everything inside THEM is color coded.”
4th surgeon: “I prefer lawyers. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and their butts are interchangeable.”
5th surgeon who has been quietly listening to the conversation: “I like Chevrolet car restorers… they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end.”

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Q. What occupies the last 6 pages of the Chevrolet Owner's Manual?

A. The bus and train timetables.



Q. What do you call a Chevrolet on a hill?

A. A big miracle.

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I'd rather be walking in a ferocious thunderstorm holding a Ford hubcap over my head than to ride in a Chevrolet.

[Shorthaul]

Keep your day job.

The one giving us all great info on AA Fords.

[Brady]

See No Chevy
Hear No Chevy
Speak No Chevy

[the99car]

Friends,don't let friends,drive Chevys!

[russ]

The bus and train timetables! TFF